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tumblr_nng7f8khFi1qdzpwbo1_1280What is Love?  Can we really define it?  Is it a feeling that is beyond description? Lately I’ve been opening my heart to Love.  Love for friends & family, but mostly towards a romantic relationship.  Falling in Love – WOW – even when you think about that statement:  “Falling” it seems so reckless and uncontrollable.  This means we must let go of our control and really have trust and vulnerability. I guess it’s like free falling – you and an unstoppable force that draws you to a destination.

Allowing ourselves to fall into Love with someone is trusting that they will always be there.  Could the reason we are hesitant be the fact that we do not want to fall flat on our faces?  Yikes! I will leave you to come up with your own conclusion on those facts.

In my discoveries of late, I’ve recognized that childlike feeling that comes over you when you reveal you want to fall, yet are almost asking permission if you can allow yourself.  A good friend of mine, and fellow rabbit hole dweller, shared a great point with me.  Whenever we are learning something new, it’s like being a student.  This brings out a childlike energy in all of us. We strive to get it right as we risk the feeling of embarrassment if we feel we are being judged. 

To allow learning to happen, we must all be each other’s teachers and students.  We must also be patient and hold space for the inner student in all of us to grow.  What I am trying to say is be gentle with yourself and in time you will learn to open your heart and soon you will be the teacher.  Then you will get the chance to share that learning curve with another eager student. 

Deep down inside we are all Love Warriors.  It starts with learning what is important to us and how we feel loved. Soon you will trust in yourself to be kind and patient with your most vulnerable desires.  Once we understand our needs and desires we know how to satisfy them. 

Whether you know it, or not, the feeling of someone expressing their appreciation for you in their life is priceless.  We all have different ways of expressing our Love.  I highly recommend you discovering your method of expression. 

Gary Chapman breaks it down in his 5 Languages of Love as follows: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.  Once we understand what fills our Love tanks then we can teach others without fear of being hurt.  We just need to understand each other more. 

Here are my scores: Straight out of the website: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

9 — Quality Time

7 — Physical Touch

6 — Acts of Service

6 — Words of Affirmation

2 — Receiving Gifts

Quality Time

In Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether it’s spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

Physical Touch

A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—these can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.

Acts of Service

Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important— hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else’s love and affection for you.

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Love sometimes get’s lost in translation …make it worth your while and be multilingual.

Anita Antonio Editor

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A friend recently told me there is some truth to the phrase “All You Need Is Love”.  I’ve been blessed to experience the shine of Love; not only from a lover, but from friends and family as well.  Brightness appeared when I stopped searching the darkness for a light bringing me to the realization that the light was shining within me.  Do you want to know why?  Well, I am that light I have been seeking all along.

Throughout my lifetime I never knew that I have been dimming my own inner light so as not to blind others.  Conditioned by societal fears and insecurities I pondered on what is safe or what is the “Right thing to Do”  which caused me to get caught up in second guessing myself and questioning my own authentic heart.  My insecurities brought me to a place of awkwardness for the Love I wanted to share with another plus even the act of accepting the Love of another made me feel exposed.  I associated my compassion and curiosity for people as neediness and weakness.  Once I recognized these feelings within myself, I was able to observe all the dimmed lights around me. We all have a tendency not to shine as bright as we are. Love is the dial that turns that light up. We must work from within to be able to access that switch. First, observe and admire who you are deep down.  Accept and appreciate that unique individuality that we all possess, and offer that special kind of Love to one another.  Holding that Love space for each other is like being a recharging station for one another.  We have the power to recharge our Love light within ourselves.  The key is to allow yourself to be silly yet deep, and vulnerable yet have boundaries.  With every encounter we can practice this kind of exchange with one another.  The mere thought of this has my heart bursting inside with joy and gratitude.

Take the time to bear witness to others stories and experiments with life.  Be open to possibilities that stem from the heart rather than the head.  Express feelings with one another, yet do not make another responsible for yours.  Open communication can be challenging at first and even a bit hurtful during the learning process. The more we refrain from passing judgement and allow each other to practice with each other, we can empower ourselves to respect the fact that we all working out our own stuff.  Having clear intentions while communicating is important and gives certainty that you are coming from a place of love and not attacking.  Maybe this way we can give each other a bit of a break and know it’s just a learning curve.  Each one of these steps just brings our authentic self forward without fear and brightens your internal light.

So, for instance, if you truly are doing your best to communicate your needs to someone and it comes across hurtful or blaming to them.  It is their responsibility to express how that felt, without finding fault in you.  Open communication is a learning experience where all parties have to participate with full trust and no fear. Basically we are holding up a mirror for one another to recognize how our words make each other feel; as well as reflecting their own light back to them.  It takes a lot of LOVE and courage to be honest with another person, and the greatest amount of courage to be honest with yourself.  You share a great gift with a person when you are able to have healthy boundaries and still can agree to disagree.  Being heard and respected with sincerity lends force to the light we shine. Think of your internal light as a spotlight …remember your mom always told you to be careful where you direct your flashlight as a kid?  Well it’s the same concept your not going to just beam that light into someones face without warning, be prepared that not everyone is ready for that kind of exposure.  This will take time as we mature into holding our light and others with respect. Judgement and expectations of others to receive our love are unrealistic, if anything it just blankets the truth and dims both of our lights. If we can take responsibility for ourselves as our own internal parent we can allow that shine not to feel so scary or mistrusting.  All we have is each other to express this burning desire to be seen and admired for that beautiful Love we all carry.

Do you know who you are?  Have you witnessed yourself lately?  Do you recognize the impact your presence has on your friends and family?  Do the homework cause you will be surprised how each one of us has a role in this crazy world.  It’s time to find yours.  I encourage and challenge you all.  Share your experiences, when you do you could be a guiding light for that Love to shine.  There are many people that feel the same way you do.  We are all little Love Fireflies.  When we unite, and share, we create a beautiful chain of Love that shines and helps light the way.

Editor – A Antonio

Photo Credit – http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/97/92/d6/9792d6164a4b92a8cddc26a5a6dc791b.jpg

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When your past stories reemerge, the toxins are soon to follow.  It’s tough to stomach the old ways of your defense mechanisms.  You start to suffer from “food for thought” poisoning.

So many knots in the stomach cause you limitations: preventing you from following through, keeping you from taking chances, or inhibiting you from showing up.

You build countless excuses for why you aren’t available for success.  I mean, hell, you just don’t feel well; you have too many jangled nerves creating a myriad of toxic thoughts echoing throughout your system.  Oh, we poor victimized humans, casualties of our own circumstances.  Well, now is the time to take a dose of good old “Pep Talk Dismiss All”.

Consider these cramps of discomfort as signs that you are growing beyond what served your past.  These old ways may have nurtured and comforted you previously but now that you have developed a more mature palate it’s just like consuming fast food.  As you out grow the FAST “Solution” method of handling yourself you’ll develop a more serene self.

For me, I see now that the crumbs of my past, for which I am expected to survive on, no longer serve me well.  I prefer to sit down and trust that my needs will be met. It is more like setting a lovely table to process the events of my life.

Imagine a 4 to 7 course meal.  What’s cooking?  It’s time to figure out the menu.  Put a real plan in place.  If you want a new job or an event you desire to attend, you look to the past where you took short cuts or acted out of fear. Perhaps you got the job or you attended the event but how much did you sacrifice along the way? It’s time to stop settling and slowly lose your soul in the process. That’s why SOUL FOOD is so good, because it’s filled with LOVE.  What I am saying is take the steps along the way to make sure you have healthy boundaries.

Time to plan the menu for a 4-course meal:

  1. Express what you want or what is right for you, “How You Roll”
  2. Be vulnerable & trust you’re worth it.  Risk letting go of what may not have served you in the past. Qualify your desires.
  3. Compromise, realize it may not be all about you and there’s a give and take.  Don’t take things personally.
  4. Be open and receiving. We are all human with degrees of insecurities.  This teaches compassion for others and us.  Sometimes the greatest joy in humanity is to be able to give to another human being. So maybe you allowing someone to give to you — is actually YOU GIVING TO THEM.

Intimate relationships are on the menu too.  Repeat steps 1 through 4 and plan for a 7-course meal:

  1. Check in with each other – Communicate.  People grow and fears emerge.  Hold a special tender space for each other.
  2. Bare witness:  keep each other accountable.  Never fear to hold a mirror up to what they may not want to see.
  3. The most DELICIOUS item on the menu: appreciate and express your love.  There are a lot of us that don’t want to be the one that loves the other person more than they love us.  So without looking weak we tend to play it safe.  Yet in the long run we miss out on that precious feeling of admiration and joy that can fill our hearts.

It’s all about respecting and trusting you. Once you can do that, you have the ability to respect and trust all others.  Once your souls are filled with your own well-being, you can have enough to share with others.  Feed your soul first then you can be of service and a positive example for all humanity.

I know for me I occasionally backslide into my fast food solutions and quickly feel the difference in my body.  I become insecure and/or angry.  Once I purge out my fears and acknowledge that I may still need a healthier solution.  I remember I have no need to go “there” any longer.

Stop and listen before swallowing the ideas you are presented.  Consciously take in what is nurturing your soul.  Is it from the ravishing depths of fear or from the grateful gardens of love?

Recognize if you tend to go to the side of fear, you may need to fill yourself up with more joys that feed your soul.  Start making a list of events, people, crafts, and hobbies that just takes you to that yummy place. So when you see the food truck of “fear” coming your way, you can take a breath and refocus on your diet of blissful foods.’’

I hope that helps. Think of this a “recipe for success”

from My Soul Kitchen to Yours.16098-jessica-biel-1920x1200-celebrity-wallpaper

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Everybody wants to be free. They want to lose themselves in ecstasy, euphoria, bliss. Be freed to dive into their own expression. The only way to be freed, the only way to lose yourself, is to engage and participate. Think of it like simple chemistry alone we are just Atoms, but if you want to create something magical we need to bond together to create a Molecule experience.  Allow all of your Atoms particles to reveal themselves. Your Protons carry a positive electrical charge, electrons carry a negative electrical charge. All of these compound into our vulnerable feelings and desires.  WOW, can you feel the electricity and power this carries.  Damn I’m getting a rush just writing this.

multi_dimensional_universeSo as you go about your day wanting to create your experience, take a look at what your not revealing or sharing cause it all MATTERS.  Yes, I am guilty of it myself but now I am taking each moment as a science project.  At first it maybe with kit gloves not to mess things up.  And, yes you will have a few explosions along the way.  What not to mix with your chemistry and what to avoid.  But in the long run once you start trusting your elements and know what your working with you can be more of a biochemist an expert and creating more intense experiences that go deeper into the unknown.  You will be surprised at the depths you can go with your discoveries.

As I always say we are in this together so lets show up to lab class and have some fun!! Enjoy you Magical Ones!

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Taking inventory of your direction is based on the emotional indicators that are going off in ourbody all the time.  Studying the law of attraction through Abraham Hicks has reminded me of what is literally at our fingertips.  If your feeling frustrated or angry or any other type of Yucky feeling.  You are going towards more of what you don’t want.  It is easier said then done… but is it?  The more you master the slightest nuances of your behavior you can master closing the gap to what you want a lot more quicker.  If you are stubborn and or find yourself stuck in a rut of emotional turmoil, you will be like a mule staying put and creating havoc and getting no where.  So take a moment when your emotional indicator light comes on and reassess your options.  No need to try to speed down your path when you are not operating in your  optimum potential.  So take this moment to give yourself a tune up and check in before proceeding down life’s path.

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When your at the end of a chapter you feel sad to turn the page.  Knowing that this story has ended. Feeling a shift that is bigger then me, that I manifested. Sometimes the creation is larger then it’s maker.  Surrendering to this wave, I need to hold on to my inner core of whom I am and who I believe I can be.  Having an open heart and having no agendas has lead me to a moment in time I can barely describe.  It’s like a wave of silence that is almost too loud to hear anything else then your inner voice.  I find myself almost holding my breath awaiting some kind of a sign.  Yet I hear nothing but my spirit collapsing into a state of defeat.  I never thought being pushed to such a state could be so bitter sweet. Yes I’ve had big shifts before but consciously I was not aware of my contributions to my movement.  I thought life was happening to me. Never was aware the I was happening to life.  Having this consciousness now it is a very powerful tool.  It almost is the “Big Joke” cause you have more power over your life when you surrender to the unknown and navigate your way through each opportunity to go with the flow you have desired.

Letting go takes more courage and strength then holding on to what we think is security.  The American Dream sometimes becomes the American Nightmare when you are afraid of the boogieman.  So what is it we all really desire in life?  I ask myself this question very often.  So here I am once again at the fork in the road.  Re-identify yourself is a momentary thing.  Once you decide this is my new persona it just happens.  It honestly is not even odd to me how the universe and the people that are in your life suddenly see you in this new way.  Not even questioning just feeling your solid choice to become a new person.  As if you were that person all along.  I’ve been so many different types of woman over my years that maybe I want to try on the traveling philosopher for awhile and write a book of my own as I journal through the changes of my life.

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photo-6As I start this journey over once again, I ask myself what is different?  How can I change the story?  Am I still looking for the fairytale ending?  Or am I wrapped up in the Romantic Comedy?  At least I’ve outgrown the Edgy 9 1/2 weeks mind playing storyline’s yet sexy and fun it leaves you empty.  For now I am on a more internal journey to discover my desires.  Outside of a relationship with others besides myself.

Finding what you desire sounds somewhat easy unless your me.  I have so many moments of interest from writing, photography, music, theory, counseling, alchemy, cooking.  But they all have one common thread which is capturing expressions with in myself.  Feeling the outcome wash through my body whether I’m eating my creation or singing it.  Feeling, Expressing & Receiving is the key to my narrowing down my path.

Now taking action is the challenge.  Although I realize I have already taken this step by writing this journal.  Actually giving yourself credit after an accomplishment whether big or small is a huge step to taking action.  As well a allowing yourself time to breath and feel your next step.  Patience has become my new best friend.  Well I’m learning how to coexist with having it around.