Acceptance

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Recently I have discovered I have no right butting into the details of how my life unfolds.  Sounds kinda crazy RIGHT?  Let me explain.  Here goes, let’s set up some scenarios shall we…

Waiter and Tray Dinner Clip Art
Scenario 1:

You go into a restaurant you peruse the menu and choose your dining experience, a lite meal or a savory dish, either way you reach deep into your desires and feelings of what will nurture you at this moment.  You sit back and let the experts serve you, right?  You enjoy the full experience, the atmosphere, the sounds, maybe even feel yourself become more present with people around you.  You tune in to the subtle nuances surrounding you.  You open up to opportunities or even foresee giving help to a person reluctantly reaching out for assistance. Then when your dish arrives you are gracious and appreciative of the server as well as the cook and the time and efforts all the elements it took to have this experience.

Scenario 2: 

You go to a restaurant you check out the menu and choose what you want to eat, a lite meal or a savory dish.  Now, instead of trusting that experts will take care of your order, you nervously start thinking of all the things you may not have asked for in order to get the dish done right.  Mind chatter starts to take over, paranoia or that lacking feeling.  Hastily you run back into the kitchen where the magic happens, and you start wondering why the cook isn’t flipping this, or adding that. “Wait, What?, You’re not doing it right, I “think” it needs more of …” the list goes on.  Does this have the feel of a nice dining experience?   Are you setting yourself up for, not only some awkward moments, but your in the kitchen trying to control your experience while your missing out on your real truth, life’s lessons and opportunities as they present themselves at your table.  Even if your host is gracious and doesn’t kick you out of the restaurant; you will be so wound up that even trying to digest this meal won’t be pleasant or nurturing.  Mostly because it was not made with love and trust.

Love and trust, are two of the elements that can launch the creation of your desired dish of life.  Let’s take this a step further, shall we?  So now take these scenarios and apply them to our own life’s desires like placing our orders to the “universe”, then we maybe able to tangibly understand  the ludicrous behaviors we all, from time to time, have enacted to create our dreams.  I say the word tangible because this theory is not new, manifesting your desire or sending your order up to the “universe” through the law of attraction or as some of you know it from the movie “The Secret”.  Well, I agree with Abraham Hicks who has been talking about the “Law of Attraction” for decades.  The movie, yet effective in the way of getting out the initial message, did not really explain your part in the manifestation of it.  For me, and maybe many others, the thought of just letting go and letting the “Universe” take care of it seemed kinda to airy fairy.  Being known as a so called “hippie” from Topanga, you’d think I’d be all over that.  Well I’m a realist that embraces the fact that magic does happen when you resist control and let go of “your” idea of what you “think” you want or how it is “supposed” to go down.  Yet, I still find myself trying to control or set up the events and elements “I” feel are needed for my desire to to make the menu.  Having this vision now of a staff of people who have my best interests at heart, who are here to organize my “ALL INCLUSIVE” vacation of life;  I can sit back and just say to the “Universal Travel Agent”:  so what’s up for today?   Oh, we aren’t going there or that person isn’t joining the group?  OK cool, a change in the menu and a new experience.  So what is it I’m going to experience?   What will you dish out as my overall “big Picture” experience from the order I placed from the ever changing universal menu?

It is freeing knowing that you are here to enjoy your experience of life. You always have the opportunity at every moment to make a choice.  Because your travel agent is just ordering up what you asked for.  Saying no, or even not even realizing you passed up an opportunity to experience what you desire, may just be a sign that you are not ready to receive.  Being conscious and clear on what you want with no need to be realistic, dream big, trust that you are enough of a “RockStar” to deserve that experience.  Allow yourself to receive and pay attention to the details of enjoyment and possibly signs that are presenting themselves for you to change your order to better serve you as you evolve and grow.  Our palate  changes over the years, so don’t be stuck in a humdrum existence.  Be daring and try new things, you could be surprised, the magical experts that can pull a lot more strings then us can serve you up more then you could have ever dreamt up.   Now, Order up and enjoy your living vacation we call “LIFE”.  YUM

“I’ll take an order of Integrity with a dash of sexy, and a side of adventure to go Please 🙂 ”

 

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When your past stories reemerge, the toxins are soon to follow.  It’s tough to stomach the old ways of your defense mechanisms.  You start to suffer from “food for thought” poisoning.

So many knots in the stomach cause you limitations: preventing you from following through, keeping you from taking chances, or inhibiting you from showing up.

You build countless excuses for why you aren’t available for success.  I mean, hell, you just don’t feel well; you have too many jangled nerves creating a myriad of toxic thoughts echoing throughout your system.  Oh, we poor victimized humans, casualties of our own circumstances.  Well, now is the time to take a dose of good old “Pep Talk Dismiss All”.

Consider these cramps of discomfort as signs that you are growing beyond what served your past.  These old ways may have nurtured and comforted you previously but now that you have developed a more mature palate it’s just like consuming fast food.  As you out grow the FAST “Solution” method of handling yourself you’ll develop a more serene self.

For me, I see now that the crumbs of my past, for which I am expected to survive on, no longer serve me well.  I prefer to sit down and trust that my needs will be met. It is more like setting a lovely table to process the events of my life.

Imagine a 4 to 7 course meal.  What’s cooking?  It’s time to figure out the menu.  Put a real plan in place.  If you want a new job or an event you desire to attend, you look to the past where you took short cuts or acted out of fear. Perhaps you got the job or you attended the event but how much did you sacrifice along the way? It’s time to stop settling and slowly lose your soul in the process. That’s why SOUL FOOD is so good, because it’s filled with LOVE.  What I am saying is take the steps along the way to make sure you have healthy boundaries.

Time to plan the menu for a 4-course meal:

  1. Express what you want or what is right for you, “How You Roll”
  2. Be vulnerable & trust you’re worth it.  Risk letting go of what may not have served you in the past. Qualify your desires.
  3. Compromise, realize it may not be all about you and there’s a give and take.  Don’t take things personally.
  4. Be open and receiving. We are all human with degrees of insecurities.  This teaches compassion for others and us.  Sometimes the greatest joy in humanity is to be able to give to another human being. So maybe you allowing someone to give to you — is actually YOU GIVING TO THEM.

Intimate relationships are on the menu too.  Repeat steps 1 through 4 and plan for a 7-course meal:

  1. Check in with each other – Communicate.  People grow and fears emerge.  Hold a special tender space for each other.
  2. Bare witness:  keep each other accountable.  Never fear to hold a mirror up to what they may not want to see.
  3. The most DELICIOUS item on the menu: appreciate and express your love.  There are a lot of us that don’t want to be the one that loves the other person more than they love us.  So without looking weak we tend to play it safe.  Yet in the long run we miss out on that precious feeling of admiration and joy that can fill our hearts.

It’s all about respecting and trusting you. Once you can do that, you have the ability to respect and trust all others.  Once your souls are filled with your own well-being, you can have enough to share with others.  Feed your soul first then you can be of service and a positive example for all humanity.

I know for me I occasionally backslide into my fast food solutions and quickly feel the difference in my body.  I become insecure and/or angry.  Once I purge out my fears and acknowledge that I may still need a healthier solution.  I remember I have no need to go “there” any longer.

Stop and listen before swallowing the ideas you are presented.  Consciously take in what is nurturing your soul.  Is it from the ravishing depths of fear or from the grateful gardens of love?

Recognize if you tend to go to the side of fear, you may need to fill yourself up with more joys that feed your soul.  Start making a list of events, people, crafts, and hobbies that just takes you to that yummy place. So when you see the food truck of “fear” coming your way, you can take a breath and refocus on your diet of blissful foods.’’

I hope that helps. Think of this a “recipe for success”

from My Soul Kitchen to Yours.16098-jessica-biel-1920x1200-celebrity-wallpaper

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Lets face it the holidays can be hectic but lets embrace this hustle bustle energy and use it to our advantage.  Taking a close look at some of the words used to describe the holiday season, I noticed that if we feel overwhelmed it might be that we are stuck in the action (verb) of a words energy.   Instead of action, we could signify the word with its actual physical and abstract identity (noun) such as a state (happiness) or a quality (beauty). Take a look…

verb: hustle – force (someone) to move hurriedly or unceremoniously in a specified direction, push roughly; jostle

verb: bustle – move in an energetic or noisy manner. (of a place) be full of activity

vs: 

noun: hustle – busy movement and activity

noun: bustle – excited activity and movement, liveliness, 

I don’t know about you but I’d rather take the energy of excitement and liveliness than the feeling of experiencing chaos and hurriedness.  So, the next time you are feeling sad, stressed or lonely remember you could be stuck in the action energy and not the actual meaning or state of being.  Even though the holidays are filled with family, joy and celebration for what love we share, our unique gifts.  The holidays are also known as a catalyst for peoples depression.  So this blog is for the people who may not have that family or joy or the celebratory feeling.  Don’t despair my friends, the honest truth is you are just fine.  No need to get caught up in what you think you need or what society flashes at you during the holidays.  Remember those advertisements are not there to spread the meaning of the holidays, ads are there to SELL products and make money.

So bless all of our hearts when and if we get sucked into that impressive sales pitch.  REMEMBER this… deep down inside you are loved.  Yes, I may be coming across all Topanga hippy right now since I lived there most of my adult life but follow me on this one.   Inside of you there is a unique gift that no one else carries and you were born to share that gift.  Money, career, children are not a measure of your special gift.  It’s your vulnerable expression that can be shared for free.  Just a moment of consideration for a stranger, or a smile can go miles.  So instead of perceiving your life through Verbs . . .   take action to express the experience of living through Verbs.  That way you can understand and appreciate what life has to offer as expressed via the experience of the nouns:  people, places and things — “each other”.  We can not attach actions to a person, a location or an item because they are not verbs.  Our expressions are verbs so show LOVE and Smile and Hug and Laugh.   Let life be your Noun and living be your Verb.

But lets get back to the basics at home.  If you’ find yourself unable to afford a new hip gift for your child or you can’t get your wife that expensive necklace, reach beyond the action of getting these gifts and analyze your reasons behind this behavior.  Your child wants the new cool gift because he or she wants to feel accepted and be like all the other kids. That shiny new necklace you want for your wife is so that she feels the beauty she reflects to you, right?  So lets spin it and take if for what it is.  Encourage your child’s uniqueness and maybe explore other options that are more affordable right now.  Coming from your heart and grounding your sincerity is empowering and can bring more appreciation and joy than you could ever give by a trendy toy or a piece of jewelry.

Let’s strip down this year.  I didn’t mean like that, hee hee  –let’s be vulnerable and still.  We tend to move a bit slower when we have dropped our armor.  So reveal yourself and take your time, allow your senses to guide you in the direction that is right for YOU.  The end of the year is for hibernating and re-calibrating into your own center.  This is true for you even if you have a huge family and feel yourself being pulled around.  Set aside even a moment in the shower to check in and appreciate.  For some of you it may just be appreciating your health and/or an income.  For others it could be your partner or children.  Either way we can remember it is our perception of what goes on around us.

As for me I have found my center and have been in this energy of contentment for awhile now.  Reaching inside I have found the strength of my own choices and embodied my own love.  This has allowed me to have extra love to share and be able to express my gift during the holidays with my loved ones.  Most of all spreading this cheer with a stranger.  Happy Holidays my friends and remember Joy to the World starts from within.

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Image Taking moments to go inward is a journey set forth for you and you only.  Distractions, expectations restlessness is apart of the trip.  Many people live their whole lives not taking a moment to explore and check in with themselves.  The more I learn about myself the more I realize how differently the same we are.  I may come into this world with karma, energy, open centers, whatever you want to call them.  But lessons on how to be a balanced well adjusted spiritual soul.  That is a tall order.  Perfection is nothing less then achieving awareness.  In my years of beating myself up for not being perfect and feeling responsible for others not being perfect around me.  I can see now that it is my protection. If I’m perfect and I can control my environment then I will be protected in my suit of armor.  Now I see letting go of that full mental jacket is freedom.  Not only for me but safer for everyone around me.  If you choose to be happy, sad, indifferent, attracted, disinterested, even an asshole for that matter.   Honestly it’s your life, create your trip anyway you want.  All I know is I have a choice just as you do.  I can dodge that bullet if I choose. Which is the MAGICAL SPOT,  “Choices”.  Such a loaded word.  Choices is like having a loaded gun, you can aim it in any direction, but if your not careful it could blow up in your face.  Where are you choosing to shoot your energy?  Are you just shooting blanks?  How effective are you as you machine gun your energy all around?  Seams to me that it would be a trail of chaos and pain in your path.  I’m aiming to be a sharp shooter, direct and painless.  So choices as many as we make a day can change the entire direction of our world.  Here to day gone tomorrow.  Are choices life and death decisions?  Possibly,  but are you going to hide out or make decisions based on limited beliefs?  Are they your beliefs?   If we as the human species recognize our impact on each other, and support each other during our process of becoming aware of our own spiritual trip.  Maybe then we can have more compassion and acceptance for each others flaws and not take each shot to the heart so personally.  Not to say you have to keep yourself in the line of fire either.  So keep safe out there and respect the weapons of self-destruction you carry with in.