Metaphorically Speaking

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I’ve been dealing with some pain management lately and I have to say, whether it is physical or emotional we suffer the same consequences. Mine is due to a car accident that has caused me physical pain.  At times I feel fine, then when I have to quickly respond I realize I am not fine.  This experience has made me compare our emotional pain with our physical pain.  I’ve noticed that when I go through the day I must have a constant nagging pain that I’ve learned to ignore.  We call it adapting or compensating in the health field.  As anything else where there is energy there is a flow, you can block it mentally or even numb yourself physically, but it has to come out eventually.  This led me to realize most of us walk around in an adapted stage compensating for our pain and stressing other parts of our support. Once again, Emotionally or Physically, we have to lean on other parts of our structure to get us through.  I found myself resisting the decision to take action.  Making a decision that can change your world seems more painful then than managing pain itself.  Eventually, I realized I have no choice.  I am awoken in the middle of the night faced with my choice.  I toss and turn, cry in agony, cursing all that were involved and allowing myself to become the Victim of circumstance.  How could they, why did this happen to me, “F” it I have to choose drastic measures and do something. I must get help.  Then I reach for the Vicodin, in 15 mins I’m back to sleep dulling the pain that was pushing me to move on.  Instead, I muscle through another day.  I’m fine, I seem to manage OK.  Yet there is a constant pull, a constant drain.  It is effecting my work, and my social life, but most of all it is draining my spirit.

Then we have to get to this point of our journey.  WHY THEN?  Why is it so hard to make a decision to get help?  Is it too much work?  Who can I trust?  I can’t afford this, nor do I have the time in my busy day.  Well, let me tell you this, from someone who for a month to the day now, realizes it seems like an eternity.  It consumes you no matter what you tell yourself.  Your choices are guided by the fear of re-injuring yourself.  You stop yourself from enjoying life, you manage by self medication or just getting by.  No longer for me!  I’ve made a decision to go to professional and get the surgery I need.  Once a scary life changing decision, it turned into the universe aligning everything I need.  From a support group of friends that love me and will be there for me during recovery, to my clients being supportive and loyal.  I’ve even found an amazing replacement for my job that is eager and honored that I chose him.  I didn’t ask to get T-Boned in my car, no fault of mine.

But now on the positive side of things.  I get to take a step back and hit the pause button.  I don’t get paid while I’m recovering, but I will manage with the temporary sacrifices I am willing to give myself.  Eventually my energies will be replenished, but this time a pure flow of rejuvenated self care will be available. I even noticed my leased car has not been racking up miles while in the repair shop. “Score” 🙂 I was cutting that lease agreement very close. My choice to not take rental ins had me mad at myself and angry at the uninsured motorist that hit me. Then I quickly took a chance and asked a dear friend for help by lending his car while out of town. He happily offered with no skin off his back.  I even helped him by giving him a ride to airport. Now I feel a sense of love and appreciation in a world once dark and victimized.  I realized taking care of myself in-turn takes care of others.  I don’t need to compensate for my pain and react unnecessarily.  My loved ones and clients don’t need to suffer because I am adapting to my pain.   I don’t need to live in this lower vibration of limitation anymore.  There are choices and love that can open up, once you just make that decision to help yourself.  Sure I’m scared, but a therapist once said to me years ago and I’ll never forget; “If you weren’t scared of what confronts you, you won’t have what it take to get the job done”.  I may have paraphrased a bit, but you get the drift.  We know what to do to get the job done!  So let’s make the decision to be healthy, and the healing will follow.  Ask for help if need be, do whatever research that can reassure your mind, but just do it.  The difference is amazing.  I’m here for you if you want to share your experience and need support.  Life appears in many ways to show us things that we desire, pay attention, not to what is physically happening to you, but to what message it is giving you.  We can actually help ourselves and help others when we stop viewing our situation as we are alone in need.  Don’t let anything or anybody rob you of what is rightfully yours! Your spirit awaits you.

Leave you with these last words:

“It takes more courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask for help, then hiding in your shadow of pain” Steen

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Lets face it the holidays can be hectic but lets embrace this hustle bustle energy and use it to our advantage.  Taking a close look at some of the words used to describe the holiday season, I noticed that if we feel overwhelmed it might be that we are stuck in the action (verb) of a words energy.   Instead of action, we could signify the word with its actual physical and abstract identity (noun) such as a state (happiness) or a quality (beauty). Take a look…

verb: hustle – force (someone) to move hurriedly or unceremoniously in a specified direction, push roughly; jostle

verb: bustle – move in an energetic or noisy manner. (of a place) be full of activity

vs: 

noun: hustle – busy movement and activity

noun: bustle – excited activity and movement, liveliness, 

I don’t know about you but I’d rather take the energy of excitement and liveliness than the feeling of experiencing chaos and hurriedness.  So, the next time you are feeling sad, stressed or lonely remember you could be stuck in the action energy and not the actual meaning or state of being.  Even though the holidays are filled with family, joy and celebration for what love we share, our unique gifts.  The holidays are also known as a catalyst for peoples depression.  So this blog is for the people who may not have that family or joy or the celebratory feeling.  Don’t despair my friends, the honest truth is you are just fine.  No need to get caught up in what you think you need or what society flashes at you during the holidays.  Remember those advertisements are not there to spread the meaning of the holidays, ads are there to SELL products and make money.

So bless all of our hearts when and if we get sucked into that impressive sales pitch.  REMEMBER this… deep down inside you are loved.  Yes, I may be coming across all Topanga hippy right now since I lived there most of my adult life but follow me on this one.   Inside of you there is a unique gift that no one else carries and you were born to share that gift.  Money, career, children are not a measure of your special gift.  It’s your vulnerable expression that can be shared for free.  Just a moment of consideration for a stranger, or a smile can go miles.  So instead of perceiving your life through Verbs . . .   take action to express the experience of living through Verbs.  That way you can understand and appreciate what life has to offer as expressed via the experience of the nouns:  people, places and things — “each other”.  We can not attach actions to a person, a location or an item because they are not verbs.  Our expressions are verbs so show LOVE and Smile and Hug and Laugh.   Let life be your Noun and living be your Verb.

But lets get back to the basics at home.  If you’ find yourself unable to afford a new hip gift for your child or you can’t get your wife that expensive necklace, reach beyond the action of getting these gifts and analyze your reasons behind this behavior.  Your child wants the new cool gift because he or she wants to feel accepted and be like all the other kids. That shiny new necklace you want for your wife is so that she feels the beauty she reflects to you, right?  So lets spin it and take if for what it is.  Encourage your child’s uniqueness and maybe explore other options that are more affordable right now.  Coming from your heart and grounding your sincerity is empowering and can bring more appreciation and joy than you could ever give by a trendy toy or a piece of jewelry.

Let’s strip down this year.  I didn’t mean like that, hee hee  –let’s be vulnerable and still.  We tend to move a bit slower when we have dropped our armor.  So reveal yourself and take your time, allow your senses to guide you in the direction that is right for YOU.  The end of the year is for hibernating and re-calibrating into your own center.  This is true for you even if you have a huge family and feel yourself being pulled around.  Set aside even a moment in the shower to check in and appreciate.  For some of you it may just be appreciating your health and/or an income.  For others it could be your partner or children.  Either way we can remember it is our perception of what goes on around us.

As for me I have found my center and have been in this energy of contentment for awhile now.  Reaching inside I have found the strength of my own choices and embodied my own love.  This has allowed me to have extra love to share and be able to express my gift during the holidays with my loved ones.  Most of all spreading this cheer with a stranger.  Happy Holidays my friends and remember Joy to the World starts from within.

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1_BrandYourselfWhat are you?   Activist?   Spiritual Yogi?  Party Animal, Health Nut, Rockstar?  Recently I’ve been doing my own study on Facebook’s Posts.  The term is to “Post it to your Wall”.  I’ve found that this feature, even though a very convenient way to keep in touch, is one of man’s creations with the possibility of becoming the internet Frankenstein.  At first, my optimistic spirit found it a way to exercise the intimacy muscle. A place for society to have a way to get out of their own lives and actually invest some intimate time with each other. After all, it is a safe place to express yourself, share opinions, and stay on top of your family photos.

Soon enough this social media monster created it’s own “Viral” frenzy.  Spreading amongst each one of us.  Plaguing us with symptoms of  judgement and ridicule.  Whether you are active on it or not, we all exist with a GPS on us at all times, investigating each others every move. People get tagged and checked into locations without their knowledge as a sea of surveillance videos and smart phones are clicking away without us even saying “Cheese”.   Soon this ego driven machine created an internet wave of a false sense of connection.  Everyone suddenly knew where you were, what you “Liked”, how you looked and even who you were with. I don’t know about you but I started to feel like we were in an interactive Tabloid with the same dirty feel, which leads to no good.  The repercussions of this type of tabloid style media can be detrimental to our mental state in society as a whole.  We start getting paranoid and caring about how people judge us? Comparing your social lives to each others, feeling inadequate or competitive.  Trying to get approval by the number of “likes” you get, or feeling invisible or not loved cause you didn’t even get a “like” at all.

This kind of atmosphere only promotes assumptions by who your tagged with.  Jealousy, revenge, and manipulation come into play when the green eyed monster hazes and as this machine manipulates your insecurities plus controls your time.  Suddenly you find yourself looking at pictures of people you don’t even know.  We all have found ourselves going down that rabbit hole a time or two, feeling like a stalker.  Sure I admit I love to keep my friends and family informed of places I’ve experienced but at times these posts can be material for a persona you may want to create of yourself.  Living in the age of “Branding”, I feel even individuals have started to create an image they are selling of themselves.  This literally creates a data profile based on what you post on your “Wall”, hand selected by you to show the world.  But what goes on behind the almighty “Wall”?

Well, upon further investigation, I discovered, things aren’t always the way they appear on the “WALL”.  Couples that appear to be happily in love may be at the verge of divorce.  The adorable family shot may be after this poor family had a terrible fight or no sleep from their colicky baby.  Don’t assume or be jealous of even those glamor shots of random women or men who pose conveniently posted, that can be from a person who is truly lonely inside and is looking for attention. Groups of friends you assume are BFF’s may not even talk to each other other then the events they go to.  So, people let’s try to assume we are all the same, ’cause funny enough, we are. We are all humans, expressing ourselves.  Hiding behind this “Wall” we are vulnerable enough to share with others.  So let’s encourage each other to lighten up and be organic and intimate.

I found when people were vulnerable on their Wall with problems, a lot of their FB friends don’t know how to deal with it.  They just try to comment with the old, “it will be alright” or “cheer up”.  Yet what about calling that person?  Even private message them if you don’t have the phone number of all of the 800 friends you have. Yep that’s me, I am in the 800 club.  Time to clear out My Own Private Idaho of “followers”.  Wow, now that’s not pretentious.

Wrapping up my discovery and final analysis of Facebook and, honestly, all social media.  I want to go back to the basics, the essentials, being Organic.  I will use it as a tool and not be a “tool”.  I will share my life with people I Truly consider my “Friends”.  I will not be a slave to every notification that starts to take over my productive day.  I also will reach out to the new friends I don’t have phone numbers for and make time for us to get to know one another, other than as a celebrity on the “Branding Machines”.  Remember in “Frankenstein” he really was tender but didn’t know how to deal with his emotions.  Let’s try to help learn together and not turn into Monsters.  ‘Cause it could get Ugly.

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When you obsess about something and stay in your head you’re like a dog with a bone. You can’t let it go!  Take a moment to realize which way your dog’s head goes as he’s devouring it, does it go back and forth or left to right, hmmm? Side to side seems like a “NO” “NO” gesture. Dogs also bury their bones to protect their treasure from getting taken from others, only to dig it up periodically, paranoid that it’s been discovered.  We humans do the same thing with our stuff. You may find yourself constantly barking about something, defending and exhausting yourself, because you don’t feel safe unless you hang onto that one thing.  Sometimes we don’t even know what we are trying to protect.

I could tell you of my own experience when I get locked into an obsession. I can justify my every move to the observing or questioning parties. Knowing my motives and even predict of the person involved or to stay obsessed in guarding my stance. At this point you’ll almost get rabid.  I looked up the definition of “rabid” and as you can see below:

ra·bid

a :  extremely violent :  furious 

b :  going to extreme lengths in expressing or pursuing a feeling, interest, or opinion

Rabies actually affects the gray matter of the dog’s brain and its central nervous system (CNS).  We can actually become hypnotic and loss all sense of reasoning. This may not be as extreme for every situation but if you are finding yourself to suddenly being non approachable and peoples reactions are trying to calm you down.  You may want to check the white foamy stuff on your chin.  I’m just saying.

Yet in reality if we took a step back and trusted the outcome, we would be provided for, whether it be financially or in love.  Maybe if we wouldn’t act like an obsessed salivating guard dog and instead we trusted in what is, there are more possibilities that could be. I know I don’t need to run back and forth defending or justifying, barking my point. I can now have a defined boundaries of what I desire and deserve in my life, and I can still feel like that adorable puppy that is playful and excited all that life brings. She gets to enjoy and appreciate the adventures that come her way as well as trusting there will always be that warm soul to snuggle up to at the end of the day.  Ahhhhhh 🙂 Now that feels way better. I’m letting the bone go and allowing myself to be housebroken.  To all of us who have stayed in that pound of fear, set yourself free and rejoice in the playground of life.

PHOTO CREDIT:  Jennifer Lynn Browne http://doggydujour.blogspot.com

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Only The Shadow Know… Or Does it?

I’ve wrote and rewrote this blog about four times. I’ve even found other parts I wrote months ago that I never posted. This must mean a lot to me. I usually steam line and just ramble away for all of our entertainment and retrospect. I realize Graceful Boundaries and self awareness is the key to moving forward with each other as a society at whole. OK, so I’ll break it down as best I can, since I’ve been down this rabbit hole for a week now, trying to find my way out. I’ve written myself into a rut, with no way out or any sense for anyone to see the light. Well Here Goes . . .

Each one of us (well the majority of us) has a shadow side i.e. the unknown triggers or buttons that control our decision making. Which effects our choices, whether they be big ones or even the smallest ones.
SO, when the shadow side seems to be the only one who KNOWS, what your next move is, it’s like driving through life without your lights on. Sure at times it’s a sunny day and everything is fine, but there are moments when the shadow side arrises and your insecurities and fears may steer your vehicle and you end up lost, not taking responsibility to follow your intuition and shine the light on your motives. If we all drive around through life without taking responsibility for our own choices then we end up in a social standstill with everyone blaming the other person for the crash, which escalates into not trusting each other’s motives because we don’t even know our own and we start taking out insurances to protect our best interest. WTF how did our society become so mistrusting of our own boundaries? You have your lane and I have mine right? We see someone coming towards us and, we have a choice we can choose to collide with their energy or we can gracefully put our blinkers on and politely take a different route. Simple right? Not so much when your not even seeing oncoming traffic in your mind.

To simplify even more, let’s all take responsibility for our own vehicle. I promise to you all, I will have graceful boundaries and express to you when I feel I need to step away or proceed. I will not feel obligated nor will I feel like I am doing you a favor do to you? Whether you choose to turn on your lights are not is your choice, I am not responsible for you. Yet, I am eager to set an example to have self respect and get to know your limits. If driving fast isn’t your speed then slow your roll. Why do we still allow our old story of the past triggers to relive within new situations?

When you feel within your body a hesitation, you might feel like you just want to be nice and not be rude, or you avoid the situation entirely and basically pull over and sit with your hazard lights on waiting for someone to save you. Well wake up kids, “no one is coming to save you”, I heard that from Katherine Woodward Thomas say in one of her podcast. It hit me pretty good.

As a fun practice today:
Observe yourself
Starting by asking for simple things you need, like “can I get a straw please” or “this is not what I ordered” , or “No thank you, I appreciate your concern but I prefer” …

Notice how you feel in your body, anchor into that and take those simple request of self care into your conversation. Set the stage by not blaming yet genuinely expressing what you admire about that person. Then apologize for not recognizing your fears have actually limited your potential for the higher good of everyone concerned.

When we Dissipate the drama behind any moment of taking care of ourselves we realize it could be as simple as, “can you pass the salt please? ” You are not putting anybody out when you respect yourself, you are setting an example of courage that they themselves can reflect on ten fold. Being honest in your vulnerability takes courage and anyone worth having in your life will recognize and appreciate that. Tell someone you love them . . . tell someone you have to leave them . . . let your truth rise through the darkness and shine. Let it shine… let it shine.

The shadow don’t know shit!!
Safe driving out there. Shine the light on me. I encourage the self awareness.

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Photo Credit:  http://tau0.wordpress.com/

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desire-wallpaperstock.net_Think of Should as a shovel… The more you’re “should-ing” yourself the deeper of a rut of disappointment you’re creating.  So instead what I’ve found to work, is to wait for that feeling of inspiration to start up your motors and jumpstart your way through your desires.  Which leads me to an obvious next question . . . How do we start up those motors?  Well in the years of being a Virgo problem solver and list maker of “Should’s” I’ve realized that shifting your environment seems to jump start your engines.  Think of it as jumper cables, we have a negative charge and we have a positive one.  Yet we also need to make sure we are grounded not to jolt the system.  Metaphorically speaking we can take our negative charge ie: a “Should” meaning…

modal verb: should (Negative Charge) used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.

I don’t know about you but obligation, duty, or correctness, criticizing are all condemning words to me.   When we judge ourselves for what we “Should” have, do or feel is having some pretty harsh penalties on yourself.  Yet this negative charge just links us to our positive charge inspire . . . where we find the juice to motivate.

verb: inspire; (Positive Charge) fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.

Which means when we are inspired it’s coming from a place of extraordinary quality, as if arising from some external creative impulse.  That is breathed into our soul. (Also straight from dictionary).

So back to our jumper cable metaphor, we have our negative “Should” now and our positive “Inspire” now what we get what they do and have them hooked up to our soul ready to get our motivation jump, but there’s no SOURCE.  Exactly how do we hook up to the correct source that will charge us?  Well as we all know sometimes we go a bit overboard and hook up to an extreme source which overloads our system and burns out our soul battery.  Or other times we just can’t seem to find enough of a charge out of the source.   I suggest assessing your situation and see how much of a boost you need to get this motor running.  Sometimes we just need to change our environment and other times we need to completely decompress and unplug from society to recharge our soul completely.  Which you need to give yourself sufficient downtime.  So before you should yourself to spending a ton of money on motivational seminars and pressuring your body to perform physical extremes, check into a quick jump first.  I know from my own experience that when I take a step back and don’t panic that I’ll be left here on the side of the road of life.  Now I’m not afraid to ask for help and trust that the correct source for me will appear.  Just be careful not to cross the wires and get shocked.  Hee Hee.  Good luck out there. Go “Rev” up those engines and get a jumpstart on life!

 

 

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Are we really different from one another? Men from Women, Country from Country, Nationality from Nationality?  I’ve been noticing lately with all of this Worldwide access to one another over the internet, as well as talking with friends and family that we all follow a common ‘like”.  We all want to be Loved, have Empathy, be Acknowledged, Appreciated, Respected, Joyful, and have Peace of Mind. For me Love is the glue that can keep all of these elements together. Unconditional, International, Unexplainable LOVE.  Once we open our hearts to each other I see how a net of trust forms that can create a safe space to give and receive.  Sharing that energy leads us into Empathy.   Once we have that understanding or being aware of, we can’t help but experience a state of Acknowledgement.   When we can have that recognition we can then Appreciate.  With that understanding of something or someone’s value or worth, it would undoubtedly lead us to having Respect.  With a sense of fondness, enthusiasm, passion, devotion brings the energy to Enjoy and rejoice in the human condition.  As we rejoice in that moment, sharing that energy whether it is as calming as Contentment, Lightheartedness, to Exhilaration or Ecstasy we are in a state of well-being.  AHH I don’t know about you but my heart is wide open with LOVE.  Mind you I don’t think we can walk around unconscious.  There is a feeling of self-awareness that is our indicator of our boundaries.  But whether your Relationship is coming from a Spiritual place or a Personal place, it starts with Love.  I guess it starts with Loving one another or Loving a God, for that matter Loving anything.  Having Love in our hearts.  There is no doubt why people find comfort in the phrase “As God is my witness”.  It starts with the Love and builds from there.  I’ll start by saying I Love that all of you that taken the time to open your hearts and read what I have to say.  I feel a sense of communion which brings all of these stages to light.

 

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Image Taking moments to go inward is a journey set forth for you and you only.  Distractions, expectations restlessness is apart of the trip.  Many people live their whole lives not taking a moment to explore and check in with themselves.  The more I learn about myself the more I realize how differently the same we are.  I may come into this world with karma, energy, open centers, whatever you want to call them.  But lessons on how to be a balanced well adjusted spiritual soul.  That is a tall order.  Perfection is nothing less then achieving awareness.  In my years of beating myself up for not being perfect and feeling responsible for others not being perfect around me.  I can see now that it is my protection. If I’m perfect and I can control my environment then I will be protected in my suit of armor.  Now I see letting go of that full mental jacket is freedom.  Not only for me but safer for everyone around me.  If you choose to be happy, sad, indifferent, attracted, disinterested, even an asshole for that matter.   Honestly it’s your life, create your trip anyway you want.  All I know is I have a choice just as you do.  I can dodge that bullet if I choose. Which is the MAGICAL SPOT,  “Choices”.  Such a loaded word.  Choices is like having a loaded gun, you can aim it in any direction, but if your not careful it could blow up in your face.  Where are you choosing to shoot your energy?  Are you just shooting blanks?  How effective are you as you machine gun your energy all around?  Seams to me that it would be a trail of chaos and pain in your path.  I’m aiming to be a sharp shooter, direct and painless.  So choices as many as we make a day can change the entire direction of our world.  Here to day gone tomorrow.  Are choices life and death decisions?  Possibly,  but are you going to hide out or make decisions based on limited beliefs?  Are they your beliefs?   If we as the human species recognize our impact on each other, and support each other during our process of becoming aware of our own spiritual trip.  Maybe then we can have more compassion and acceptance for each others flaws and not take each shot to the heart so personally.  Not to say you have to keep yourself in the line of fire either.  So keep safe out there and respect the weapons of self-destruction you carry with in.

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reflectionnnnThe only way I hear myself is through your Ears …so who’s listening?  Recently I’ve discovered my reaction to others reflection can be defensive. Yet sometimes their reflection can show me an image of myself that is in true alignment with the state of mind I’m in.  When your out of alignment your first reaction is to be defensive, redirect, justify and even blame.  So when I feel these emotions surfacing I take a moment to reflect myself at that image I’ve given off.  What they see is an image I have of myself.  So if I am not happy with that reflection I better start to change my perceptions and view myself in different ways.  Self esteem goes beyond just your looks, it is a core belief that you are lovable.  I’ve observed that most of us have a hard time realizing our worth.  Or should I say be comfortable to allow love into our hearts.  When we find excuses for how others treat us it is a sure sign that we are lowering our standards to protect ourselves from being hurt.  I had a book of justifications that was so big that I realize now why I renamed it to “War & Peace”.  Justifying and reasoning away your self worth is devaluing your desires.  We all have the right to be happy and loved.  Just because you are a mother, father, sister, brother or even the president you have a right to be happy and loved.  Yes we all signed up to have responsibilities and with that comes sacrifice.

Taking control of your life.  How does that look?  So many responsibilities and choices daily… finding more opportunities and disappointments along the way that could keep you frozen in your tracks.  Well today I have seen how my life has changed because I am not scared of what the unknown can be.  I’ve seen how this image I wanted so badly of myself is maybe a skewed picture of staying safe and in control.  I chose now to let go of the known and aligning with what I’ve desired all this time.  Now that the shift has occurred I can see clearly that “Image” of myself that is beautiful and perfect with all of her fears and desires. We have a choice to see worthlessness or we can see within seconds a radiant capable spirit.  Don’t be scared of the limitless possibilities or fear your leaving your loved ones behind or disappointing them.  Be that leader that can show by example to love yourself and have everything you desire and then some.  Go forth you Spiritual Warriors and let’s set an example together.  My ears are here for you are you can you see yourself?