Wow !   Life sometimes just knocks at my door and this time I answer alert and conscious.   My swagger changes and a certain sense of awareness comes over me .  As I break my experience down to moments of satisfaction and overwhelming sense of contentment and importance.  A moment when I realize I am there for myself.  I can’t explain it, other than to say f or the first time consciously  “I really like myself ! ”   Where as the “cool” side of me really dug the “real” side of me and they bonded.  I seemed to experience a deep sense of respect for a side of me I’ve taken for granted.

Maybe we have never really gotten to know ourselves.  Honestly, do you really know yourself?  This is someone that you spend every moment with.  Have you become so codependent on yourself that you’ve given up?  Enabling and excusing your behavior due to not wanting to face your own need for growth? Or just justified your actions cause your too lazy to admit that you could be possibly wrong?  This person (part of yourself)  stands by you and puts up with all your shit.  They watch you as you drag them around through one situation after the next.  Whether it be a good time or bad.  They are always there, smiling or crying by your side.  So I ask you one more time. Do you really know yourself?  I mean can you depend on yourself?  Do you have your best interests at heart?  Have you not stood up for yourself? Have you let others overpower you?  I’m sure 80% of you could answer YES to at least one of those questions.

That’s why I have suddenly switched.  I can’t explain how other then my circle of evolution has come full circle.  It all makes sense suddenly .  I’m happy.  WOW,  really I am.  Nothing has changed, other then my perception of myself.  I’m there for myself for one of the first times.  I’ve proven to myself that I got my own back and won’t put myself into situation’s where I would have to figure my way out of.  I respect who and whom I spend my time with.  I keep an open heart to allow love in and have compassion for those who don’t know how.

These last few months have been heavy, one of my close friends lost her partner and another lost his teenage daughter.  I can’t imagine the pain they must feel, when life suddenly just switches gears .  This has really made me realize ;  we are truly alone in this world.  We have each other for support and companionship.  But we must have a good relationship with ourselves,  to be able to carry on when tragedy occurs.  Hold on and buckle up, cause the only thing we have control of , is the destination we desire.  Then the rest is up to our own internal navigation devise.  We get re-routed when there is a sudden detour in our course.  Keeping calibrated to our own soul as our internal authority we must use self care to provide the rest stops needed  along the way.

There is a calmness when you can surrender to your own respect and become proud of who you are.  Honored to discover new mysteries about yourself and find unheard of strengths you didn’t realize  you had.  These attributes and findings come when you believe in yourself and allow the vulnerable you to flower.   Finding a way to have self – esteem  through all the dark places  you may go,  when faced with your old story.  Rising above what others think of you and concentrate on what you think of others.

Let your first instinct to love and have compassion be the forefront in decision making.  It is not your place to control how others think of you it’s actually none of your business.  What is your business is how you think of yourself.  You have every right to Love whomever you choose.  Or not be friends with whomever you choose as well.  It does go both ways.  Mainly it is not to get yourself caught up in this web of mistrust and insecurities.  The most confident person you know has moments of insecurities, don’t you ever think differently.  We are all in this experience together.  That’s why we concentrate on our own experiment and leave our other lab partners to their own.   This way at the end of the day we can share our discoveries and create a world of  mind- blowing revolutions that will evolve our spirits to creating the funnest, loving experience we have ever imagined.   I’m ready to share the Nobel Prize of Life with you.  So do your studies … concentrate your attention on the subject at hand… YOU.