August 2014

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When you obsess about something and stay in your head you’re like a dog with a bone. You can’t let it go!  Take a moment to realize which way your dog’s head goes as he’s devouring it, does it go back and forth or left to right, hmmm? Side to side seems like a “NO” “NO” gesture. Dogs also bury their bones to protect their treasure from getting taken from others, only to dig it up periodically, paranoid that it’s been discovered.  We humans do the same thing with our stuff. You may find yourself constantly barking about something, defending and exhausting yourself, because you don’t feel safe unless you hang onto that one thing.  Sometimes we don’t even know what we are trying to protect.

I could tell you of my own experience when I get locked into an obsession. I can justify my every move to the observing or questioning parties. Knowing my motives and even predict of the person involved or to stay obsessed in guarding my stance. At this point you’ll almost get rabid.  I looked up the definition of “rabid” and as you can see below:

ra·bid

a :  extremely violent :  furious 

b :  going to extreme lengths in expressing or pursuing a feeling, interest, or opinion

Rabies actually affects the gray matter of the dog’s brain and its central nervous system (CNS).  We can actually become hypnotic and loss all sense of reasoning. This may not be as extreme for every situation but if you are finding yourself to suddenly being non approachable and peoples reactions are trying to calm you down.  You may want to check the white foamy stuff on your chin.  I’m just saying.

Yet in reality if we took a step back and trusted the outcome, we would be provided for, whether it be financially or in love.  Maybe if we wouldn’t act like an obsessed salivating guard dog and instead we trusted in what is, there are more possibilities that could be. I know I don’t need to run back and forth defending or justifying, barking my point. I can now have a defined boundaries of what I desire and deserve in my life, and I can still feel like that adorable puppy that is playful and excited all that life brings. She gets to enjoy and appreciate the adventures that come her way as well as trusting there will always be that warm soul to snuggle up to at the end of the day.  Ahhhhhh 🙂 Now that feels way better. I’m letting the bone go and allowing myself to be housebroken.  To all of us who have stayed in that pound of fear, set yourself free and rejoice in the playground of life.

PHOTO CREDIT:  Jennifer Lynn Browne http://doggydujour.blogspot.com

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Only The Shadow Know… Or Does it?

I’ve wrote and rewrote this blog about four times. I’ve even found other parts I wrote months ago that I never posted. This must mean a lot to me. I usually steam line and just ramble away for all of our entertainment and retrospect. I realize Graceful Boundaries and self awareness is the key to moving forward with each other as a society at whole. OK, so I’ll break it down as best I can, since I’ve been down this rabbit hole for a week now, trying to find my way out. I’ve written myself into a rut, with no way out or any sense for anyone to see the light. Well Here Goes . . .

Each one of us (well the majority of us) has a shadow side i.e. the unknown triggers or buttons that control our decision making. Which effects our choices, whether they be big ones or even the smallest ones.
SO, when the shadow side seems to be the only one who KNOWS, what your next move is, it’s like driving through life without your lights on. Sure at times it’s a sunny day and everything is fine, but there are moments when the shadow side arrises and your insecurities and fears may steer your vehicle and you end up lost, not taking responsibility to follow your intuition and shine the light on your motives. If we all drive around through life without taking responsibility for our own choices then we end up in a social standstill with everyone blaming the other person for the crash, which escalates into not trusting each other’s motives because we don’t even know our own and we start taking out insurances to protect our best interest. WTF how did our society become so mistrusting of our own boundaries? You have your lane and I have mine right? We see someone coming towards us and, we have a choice we can choose to collide with their energy or we can gracefully put our blinkers on and politely take a different route. Simple right? Not so much when your not even seeing oncoming traffic in your mind.

To simplify even more, let’s all take responsibility for our own vehicle. I promise to you all, I will have graceful boundaries and express to you when I feel I need to step away or proceed. I will not feel obligated nor will I feel like I am doing you a favor do to you? Whether you choose to turn on your lights are not is your choice, I am not responsible for you. Yet, I am eager to set an example to have self respect and get to know your limits. If driving fast isn’t your speed then slow your roll. Why do we still allow our old story of the past triggers to relive within new situations?

When you feel within your body a hesitation, you might feel like you just want to be nice and not be rude, or you avoid the situation entirely and basically pull over and sit with your hazard lights on waiting for someone to save you. Well wake up kids, “no one is coming to save you”, I heard that from Katherine Woodward Thomas say in one of her podcast. It hit me pretty good.

As a fun practice today:
Observe yourself
Starting by asking for simple things you need, like “can I get a straw please” or “this is not what I ordered” , or “No thank you, I appreciate your concern but I prefer” …

Notice how you feel in your body, anchor into that and take those simple request of self care into your conversation. Set the stage by not blaming yet genuinely expressing what you admire about that person. Then apologize for not recognizing your fears have actually limited your potential for the higher good of everyone concerned.

When we Dissipate the drama behind any moment of taking care of ourselves we realize it could be as simple as, “can you pass the salt please? ” You are not putting anybody out when you respect yourself, you are setting an example of courage that they themselves can reflect on ten fold. Being honest in your vulnerability takes courage and anyone worth having in your life will recognize and appreciate that. Tell someone you love them . . . tell someone you have to leave them . . . let your truth rise through the darkness and shine. Let it shine… let it shine.

The shadow don’t know shit!!
Safe driving out there. Shine the light on me. I encourage the self awareness.

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Photo Credit:  http://tau0.wordpress.com/