When your at the end of a chapter you feel sad to turn the page.  Knowing that this story has ended. Feeling a shift that is bigger then me, that I manifested. Sometimes the creation is larger then it’s maker.  Surrendering to this wave, I need to hold on to my inner core of whom I am and who I believe I can be.  Having an open heart and having no agendas has lead me to a moment in time I can barely describe.  It’s like a wave of silence that is almost too loud to hear anything else then your inner voice.  I find myself almost holding my breath awaiting some kind of a sign.  Yet I hear nothing but my spirit collapsing into a state of defeat.  I never thought being pushed to such a state could be so bitter sweet. Yes I’ve had big shifts before but consciously I was not aware of my contributions to my movement.  I thought life was happening to me. Never was aware the I was happening to life.  Having this consciousness now it is a very powerful tool.  It almost is the “Big Joke” cause you have more power over your life when you surrender to the unknown and navigate your way through each opportunity to go with the flow you have desired.

Letting go takes more courage and strength then holding on to what we think is security.  The American Dream sometimes becomes the American Nightmare when you are afraid of the boogieman.  So what is it we all really desire in life?  I ask myself this question very often.  So here I am once again at the fork in the road.  Re-identify yourself is a momentary thing.  Once you decide this is my new persona it just happens.  It honestly is not even odd to me how the universe and the people that are in your life suddenly see you in this new way.  Not even questioning just feeling your solid choice to become a new person.  As if you were that person all along.  I’ve been so many different types of woman over my years that maybe I want to try on the traveling philosopher for awhile and write a book of my own as I journal through the changes of my life.